You gotta love this site.  Actually, in all seriousness, I do.  I find it a wonderful site to decompress.  But when I received their email newsletter the other day, there was no possibility of decompression - unless you consider it to be the kind of decompression that builds to a huge explosion.  I love the site but all I had to say that day was, “This woman obviously does not have children.”

Again, let me reiterate.  I love this site.  It is a centering place. A place to calm and quiet the wildness of life.  I think it is interesting that the Internet can be used this way, and used successfully.  But this newsletter, hit me funny.  I quote:

My soul feels tepid as I surrender to a floating world of dreamy landscapes. I just sit here in the stillness of my hand that is symbolically linked beyond reason. A hand that colors and paints vivid images while the words fight harder to capture the wisdom my body knows.

Queen of Stillness sweetly brushes her lips
across the colored rim of suspended time.

Softly, she traces the edge of sensation
and opens the portal of the great Atlantis
that was sealed by a moment’s rapture
with no memory of our floating world.

between the dream that reflects the sun
and an infinite force of primal wisdom.

I can’t even remember feeling tepid.  That was a lifetime ago.  I am either frozen or boiling.  There is no halfway ground here.  Hot or cold (I’m not talking hot flashes - this is a state of mind thing), but tepid?  I only get tepid when I set down a cup of coffee and forget it and pick it up 45 minutes later.  As a side note, I have developed a taste for lukewarm coffee!

As far as sitting in the stillness of my hand?  I am not entirely sure what that even means, but it sounds so introspective.  So “in tune” and one with the universe and all of that.   That still hand is creating some kind of colorful reality even though it is attached to a supposedly tepid soul.

Queen of Stillness sweetly brushes her lips across the colored rim of suspended time.  Okay, now this is magic. I can’t recall the last time my lips brushed anything that didn’t say, “Stop it Mom,” and gave mom 5 syllables which is really quite talented!  I try to kiss the top of their heads just as a goodnight - they are good children and humor me. 

Perhaps the Queen of Stillness does have children.  Perhaps her lips are brushing across the heads of her children each night as well.  It could be that is the moment of suspended time.  That time of the brief encounter that still exists, despite the invisibly warm acceptance of a publicly shunned good-night kiss, between mother and not-so-child.

Sanctuary of Stillness

Adelle Tilton

Today I am going to send you to a story to read because, to be quite frank, I have been a bit under the weather.  It was one of those, “Pleaaaasssssseeeeee Mom, can I go to the party?  It’s at a church.  I’ll be fine!”  I wasn’t worried about her being fine.  I wasn’t actually worried about anything.  So, I being the magnanimous mother I am, allowed my daughter to go to the church party.  Germs have no respect of churches.  None whatsoever.  So she got sick and then was so loving and sharing, she gave the germs to me.  ewwwww, cooooties!!! 

But I did find a wonderful piece on the Internet for you to read.  But if you follow the author’s advice and do cartwheels***, and get hurt, don’t write me.  Write her. 

101 Ways To Play

Regarding #14 - That is play?  I’m shocked.  I do that everyday and I am not playing!!

*** DO NOT TRY THIS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I met a wonderful woman the other day.  She came by my blog because she is a tomato, just like me.  She goes by Queen Jaw Jaw, which refers to her “sassy mouth,” which she claims to have retained throughout the red hair and fiery temper fading.  I like that.  My sassy mouth is much in gear too - some things are just too precious to let go.  At any rate, with a name like that, I had to check out her Web site.  And I loved it instantly.  At first it was the art, then it was the content.  It is just a great place to be. 

Queen Jaw Jaw is the self proclaimed Queen of Experiences.  I can relate to that, but I don’t think I’ll make a run at her throne. You absolutely have to love someone who won’t take advice from her son because he believes Elvis is really dead.  (It must be a Northern Alabama thing - I don’t know - but she was raised there so it must be something of an explanation.) 

The Queen has a link at the top of her site called, “Lunch Hour Specials.”  It is a short take that she writes about her outlook on life.  Thus I know about her son who lives in his delusion.  Her “Guest Writer” page is currently featuring an interview with Nancy Mills, Founder of Spirited Woman.  The interview is great; I have a theory - I won’t say a word about blondes, but redheads are known for - well you know what they are known for; we are just a handful.  Brunettes seem to be deep, intelligent, and insightful.  (We are too, we just feel a need to hide this to an extent to not overwhelm others with our depth.)

Now don’t miss “Trixie’s Page.”  Not every boxer has her own page.  (Aren’t boxers the dogs known for having a real problem with excessive gas?  Don’t tell Trixie I said that.  Don’t tell her owner either.)  But it’s Trixie’s writing gig and she has letters from her own readers.  An African grey parrot wrote her recently and… well, you can read the “Dear Abby” of dogs giving advice.

Queen Jaw Jaw also has writing contests.  This would be fun!  She publishes on her site the top three winners.  Probably with Trixie’s approval.  And she has a page of links to a lot of wonderful sites!  (Hey - how do I get in there?)

But the best part is Queen Jaw Jaw’s book, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne.  Now I have been using her ‘net name, but when you are talking book, it is time to get serious.  (I don’t know exactly HOW to do that, but I’ll give it a shot.)  Queen Jaw Jaw, known in reality (whatever that is) as Georgia Richardson has a book that I am hoping to read very soon.  I’ll tell you all about it then.  At this point, I am sure it is going to be a great look at life with a woman who has learned to not take herself terribly seriously.

Georgia Richardson is the Alabama Representative for The National Association of Women Writers, Humorist Expert for The National Association for Baby Boomer Women, and has had a monthly humor column for The Monthly View.

Not only is she gorgeous, talented, funny, and intelligent, she knows her stuff.  And deserves that throne!  Don’t EVEN think about touching it.

Queen Jaw Jaw

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne

Images used with permission of, and copyrighted by, Georgia Richardson

Some people have far too much free time on their hands.  Researchers have discovered that female guppies (you know - the fish?) will do just about anything they can to avoid sexual attention (when they don’t want it) from interested male guppies. 

Now these male guppies will go out of their way to get a lady’s attention.  They have all the bright colors and they flash their fins - in short, they act no different than human males.  But a female guppy views that much the way a human female views it.  “Shove off Buster,” and the battle begins.  For us, it ends up in a court room with charges of sexual harrassment.  For the guppies, they retreat to waters infested with predators. 

Evidently it is better to be eaten alive than deal with a man. Darren Croft, of the University of Wales, (by the way, he isn’t just a guy with free time - he is being paid for this!) said, “Male guppies spend most of their time displaying to females. But if their courtship displays don’t impress the females, males will attempt to sneak mating with them when they aren’t looking.”  Now that is low.  Really, really low.

Have these gals considered getting a bodyguard?  I mean if they are hiding in the rough neighborhoods of the ocean, aren’t they making at least some contact with unsavory characters?  Perhaps a lobster or a bigger fish that eats guppies would make a suitable “watchdog.”  She would have to pay him well or he might turn on her, and that could end up back at the sexual harrassment problem.  Possibly an inadequate solution.

Perhaps an option would be to turn tail and appear to run, and slap that male guppy silly with a tail fin.  If a few of those girls could get together and join forces, they could really pummel one of those guys.  They are so arrogant about their fins and tails, that I’m betting they would run at the first sign of cosmetic destruction. 

Another idea would be to let the word out that once the baby guppies hatch, the female guppies (now unionized) are going back to work.  Flashy dad can stay home and take care of the several thousand children.  Let’s see how much he likes it then!  Ramifications!  It is all about accountability.  If these guppies knew that they would be tied down for however long guppies are tied down for, and no flashy tails allowed today sir, they might mind their manners.

It just might be worth a try.

Female Guppies Risk Their Lives to Avoid Too Much Male Attention

(Yes I know the fish in the photograph are not guppies, but it’s a better picture than the guppy one!)

Adelle Tilton