I met a wonderful woman the other day.  She came by my blog because she is a tomato, just like me.  She goes by Queen Jaw Jaw, which refers to her “sassy mouth,” which she claims to have retained throughout the red hair and fiery temper fading.  I like that.  My sassy mouth is much in gear too - some things are just too precious to let go.  At any rate, with a name like that, I had to check out her Web site.  And I loved it instantly.  At first it was the art, then it was the content.  It is just a great place to be. 

Queen Jaw Jaw is the self proclaimed Queen of Experiences.  I can relate to that, but I don’t think I’ll make a run at her throne. You absolutely have to love someone who won’t take advice from her son because he believes Elvis is really dead.  (It must be a Northern Alabama thing - I don’t know - but she was raised there so it must be something of an explanation.) 

The Queen has a link at the top of her site called, “Lunch Hour Specials.”  It is a short take that she writes about her outlook on life.  Thus I know about her son who lives in his delusion.  Her “Guest Writer” page is currently featuring an interview with Nancy Mills, Founder of Spirited Woman.  The interview is great; I have a theory - I won’t say a word about blondes, but redheads are known for - well you know what they are known for; we are just a handful.  Brunettes seem to be deep, intelligent, and insightful.  (We are too, we just feel a need to hide this to an extent to not overwhelm others with our depth.)

Now don’t miss “Trixie’s Page.”  Not every boxer has her own page.  (Aren’t boxers the dogs known for having a real problem with excessive gas?  Don’t tell Trixie I said that.  Don’t tell her owner either.)  But it’s Trixie’s writing gig and she has letters from her own readers.  An African grey parrot wrote her recently and… well, you can read the “Dear Abby” of dogs giving advice.

Queen Jaw Jaw also has writing contests.  This would be fun!  She publishes on her site the top three winners.  Probably with Trixie’s approval.  And she has a page of links to a lot of wonderful sites!  (Hey - how do I get in there?)

But the best part is Queen Jaw Jaw’s book, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne.  Now I have been using her ‘net name, but when you are talking book, it is time to get serious.  (I don’t know exactly HOW to do that, but I’ll give it a shot.)  Queen Jaw Jaw, known in reality (whatever that is) as Georgia Richardson has a book that I am hoping to read very soon.  I’ll tell you all about it then.  At this point, I am sure it is going to be a great look at life with a woman who has learned to not take herself terribly seriously.

Georgia Richardson is the Alabama Representative for The National Association of Women Writers, Humorist Expert for The National Association for Baby Boomer Women, and has had a monthly humor column for The Monthly View.

Not only is she gorgeous, talented, funny, and intelligent, she knows her stuff.  And deserves that throne!  Don’t EVEN think about touching it.

Queen Jaw Jaw

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne

Images used with permission of, and copyrighted by, Georgia Richardson

Some people have far too much free time on their hands.  Researchers have discovered that female guppies (you know - the fish?) will do just about anything they can to avoid sexual attention (when they don’t want it) from interested male guppies. 

Now these male guppies will go out of their way to get a lady’s attention.  They have all the bright colors and they flash their fins - in short, they act no different than human males.  But a female guppy views that much the way a human female views it.  “Shove off Buster,” and the battle begins.  For us, it ends up in a court room with charges of sexual harrassment.  For the guppies, they retreat to waters infested with predators. 

Evidently it is better to be eaten alive than deal with a man. Darren Croft, of the University of Wales, (by the way, he isn’t just a guy with free time - he is being paid for this!) said, “Male guppies spend most of their time displaying to females. But if their courtship displays don’t impress the females, males will attempt to sneak mating with them when they aren’t looking.”  Now that is low.  Really, really low.

Have these gals considered getting a bodyguard?  I mean if they are hiding in the rough neighborhoods of the ocean, aren’t they making at least some contact with unsavory characters?  Perhaps a lobster or a bigger fish that eats guppies would make a suitable “watchdog.”  She would have to pay him well or he might turn on her, and that could end up back at the sexual harrassment problem.  Possibly an inadequate solution.

Perhaps an option would be to turn tail and appear to run, and slap that male guppy silly with a tail fin.  If a few of those girls could get together and join forces, they could really pummel one of those guys.  They are so arrogant about their fins and tails, that I’m betting they would run at the first sign of cosmetic destruction. 

Another idea would be to let the word out that once the baby guppies hatch, the female guppies (now unionized) are going back to work.  Flashy dad can stay home and take care of the several thousand children.  Let’s see how much he likes it then!  Ramifications!  It is all about accountability.  If these guppies knew that they would be tied down for however long guppies are tied down for, and no flashy tails allowed today sir, they might mind their manners.

It just might be worth a try.

Female Guppies Risk Their Lives to Avoid Too Much Male Attention

(Yes I know the fish in the photograph are not guppies, but it’s a better picture than the guppy one!)

Adelle Tilton