I used to think that the words to “Precious and Few” (are the moments we two can share), a very popular song in the ’60’s had to do with birds.  Precious and few are the moments we toucans share.  Wrong on that one.  But that’s okay because my oldest once old me that for forever she thought Elton John was singing, “I guess that’s why they call that stuff glue.”  Probably an ad for a new super glue, huh?

I also used to believe that I could get the best of my dad when I was a teenager.  He started in with a lecture - it was a standard one - he had done it many a time.  (You’ll understand the significance of that in a minute.)  Anyway, he started.  “All your life you are going to have rules.  Some of them you aren’t going to like.  But you will always have to follow them…”  You get the idea.

I was about 14.  I thought I was immortal.  Nothing could touch me.  I would live forever and I KNEW in my heart of hearts, that I was far more clever than my father.

“Here it comes,” I said.  “Lecture Number 63.”

Pause.

I don’t remember much after that.  I would love to tell you what happened (well, maybe not) but I just flat out don’t remember. 

That goes in with the belief that I used to have that my father could always take me out, no matter how smart I was or how old I was, or how old he became.  I was right.  I never did get as smart as him.  Funny how those things work.

Anyway, I have digressed into a thoughtful bit that would be more interesting closer to Father’s Day.  But I am thinking it now and so I am sharing it now.  And I am also telling you about a funny site that I know you will enjoy and perhaps see yourself reflected in.  Take a look.  It brings back memories!

I Used To Believe - The Childhood Belief Site

Adelle Tilton

Today I am going to send you to a story to read because, to be quite frank, I have been a bit under the weather.  It was one of those, “Pleaaaasssssseeeeee Mom, can I go to the party?  It’s at a church.  I’ll be fine!”  I wasn’t worried about her being fine.  I wasn’t actually worried about anything.  So, I being the magnanimous mother I am, allowed my daughter to go to the church party.  Germs have no respect of churches.  None whatsoever.  So she got sick and then was so loving and sharing, she gave the germs to me.  ewwwww, cooooties!!! 

But I did find a wonderful piece on the Internet for you to read.  But if you follow the author’s advice and do cartwheels***, and get hurt, don’t write me.  Write her. 

101 Ways To Play

Regarding #14 - That is play?  I’m shocked.  I do that everyday and I am not playing!!

*** DO NOT TRY THIS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I met a wonderful woman the other day.  She came by my blog because she is a tomato, just like me.  She goes by Queen Jaw Jaw, which refers to her “sassy mouth,” which she claims to have retained throughout the red hair and fiery temper fading.  I like that.  My sassy mouth is much in gear too - some things are just too precious to let go.  At any rate, with a name like that, I had to check out her Web site.  And I loved it instantly.  At first it was the art, then it was the content.  It is just a great place to be. 

Queen Jaw Jaw is the self proclaimed Queen of Experiences.  I can relate to that, but I don’t think I’ll make a run at her throne. You absolutely have to love someone who won’t take advice from her son because he believes Elvis is really dead.  (It must be a Northern Alabama thing - I don’t know - but she was raised there so it must be something of an explanation.) 

The Queen has a link at the top of her site called, “Lunch Hour Specials.”  It is a short take that she writes about her outlook on life.  Thus I know about her son who lives in his delusion.  Her “Guest Writer” page is currently featuring an interview with Nancy Mills, Founder of Spirited Woman.  The interview is great; I have a theory - I won’t say a word about blondes, but redheads are known for - well you know what they are known for; we are just a handful.  Brunettes seem to be deep, intelligent, and insightful.  (We are too, we just feel a need to hide this to an extent to not overwhelm others with our depth.)

Now don’t miss “Trixie’s Page.”  Not every boxer has her own page.  (Aren’t boxers the dogs known for having a real problem with excessive gas?  Don’t tell Trixie I said that.  Don’t tell her owner either.)  But it’s Trixie’s writing gig and she has letters from her own readers.  An African grey parrot wrote her recently and… well, you can read the “Dear Abby” of dogs giving advice.

Queen Jaw Jaw also has writing contests.  This would be fun!  She publishes on her site the top three winners.  Probably with Trixie’s approval.  And she has a page of links to a lot of wonderful sites!  (Hey - how do I get in there?)

But the best part is Queen Jaw Jaw’s book, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne.  Now I have been using her ‘net name, but when you are talking book, it is time to get serious.  (I don’t know exactly HOW to do that, but I’ll give it a shot.)  Queen Jaw Jaw, known in reality (whatever that is) as Georgia Richardson has a book that I am hoping to read very soon.  I’ll tell you all about it then.  At this point, I am sure it is going to be a great look at life with a woman who has learned to not take herself terribly seriously.

Georgia Richardson is the Alabama Representative for The National Association of Women Writers, Humorist Expert for The National Association for Baby Boomer Women, and has had a monthly humor column for The Monthly View.

Not only is she gorgeous, talented, funny, and intelligent, she knows her stuff.  And deserves that throne!  Don’t EVEN think about touching it.

Queen Jaw Jaw

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Throne

Images used with permission of, and copyrighted by, Georgia Richardson

Have you seen “Fried Green Tomatoes?”  I love that movie.  It is the story of several different women at different stages of their lives and in different periods of time.  The main focus of the primary story is the main character, a woman going through the change, as she redefines herself, becomes more assertive, and finds meaning within the life she is leaving.  Much of her struggle, pre-HRT treatment, comes from feeling old.  Kathy Bates plays this character to the hilt.  I love her.  She is so funny in this movie and says without uttering a word at times, an entire message to women who are 50-something.

Much of the point of the Kathy Bates character is coming to a peace, and not just a peace, but to a total joy with the idea of being menopausal, post-menopausal, or at least 50-something.  She fears her husband has lost interest in her, she worries that she has nothing left to contribute, and she struggles with her loss of self-image. 

Through the stories of another woman, who is more like 80-something (played magnificently by the late Jessica Tandy) she finds that what she has to offer is still fresh, alive, and although not young, a whole lot better than anything youth has ever offered. 

Do we need to be young to offer something to the world?  To our families?  To our friends?  And what is young anyway!  There is something about knowing your feet are solidly planted on the ground.  About having security and knowing what your life is all about.  There is something about not being 30-something and still trying to figure out who you are.

My favorite quote from the movie?  It occurs in the scene where Evelyn (Kathy Bates) is becoming a whole lot more sure of herself and how she plays into the world around her.  She is faced with a couple of slim-hipped, hot looking, smart mouthing 20-somethings in a minor dispute over a parking place.  They zip in around her land yacht and steal the place away with their little snazzy VW bug.

Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster!
Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times (deliberately and quite forcefully, I might add)
Girl #1 (Screaming frantically): What are you *doing*?
Girl #2(Screaming equally forcefully and frantically): Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.

When someone tries to make you feel like you are substandard or have nothing to contribute; or when they try to convince you that you aren’t in the running anymore and too old to play the game, remember you can afford to lose.  You’ve paid your dues.  You bought your coverage.  “Face it girls.  I’m older and have more insurance.”