New research shows that when it comes to being happy, it’s all about expectation, and if what we experience doesn’t meet our expectations, we are more likely to be unhappy than we are to be happy if what we experience exceeds expectations.

A study in the Journal of Consumer Research: March 2007 by Vanessa M. Patrick, Deborah J. MacInnis, and C. Whan Park entitled “Not as Happy as I Thought I’d be? Affective Misforecasting and Product Evaluations” indicates that the difference between the way we think we’ll feel and how we actually do feel is the key to being happy, whether it be in a product or a marriage.

Recently a survey proclaimed that Denmark was home to the happiest citizens on Earth. Why are they so happy? Because their expectations are low. The Danes tend to have lower and more realistic expectations about life and therefore find greater satisfaction.

In the consumer study, two groups watched a movie clip. One group was given rave reviews before seeing the movie and the other group heard disparaging reviews. Those who expected to see a great movie were very disappointed and unsatisfied. However, those who expected to see a boring movie did not notice the ways in which the movie was better than they expected.

What does this say about people? It seems to say that we are unappreciative of the good things we expect and even those we don’t expect and take them for granted. But when we have a high expectation, we are quick to be bitterly disappointed.

I don’t believe we should become pessimists, expecting always that things will turn out badly or feel we don’t deserve happiness, but the pressures we put on ourselves and others because of unrealistic expectations can only lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment. When we expect that this or that product or even that a relationship is going to be the key factor in our happiness, we are setting ourselves and others up for a big fall.

The study’s lesson for marketers is to be careful about how many and what type of promises they make for a product, for if the consumer doesn’t experience what you promised in your hype, the dissatisfaction level will be high. But the lesson for all of us may be to stop and take stock of the good things we don’t really notice in our lives.

To the world we may seem quietly engaged in some activity, shopping, housework, even watching television. But our minds are always active and the stream of thoughts and “self-talk” that run through our minds every day may mean the difference between having a postive outlook on life or suffering under a load of stress.

According to doctors at the Mayo Clinic, whether the thoughts you have are mostly optimistic or pessimistic can affect even your health and your life span.

The power of positive thinking isn’t just a popular catch-phrase, it’s a way of living that reaps benefits such as decreased stress levels and greater resistance to illness. Optimism is linked to a reduced risk of coronary heart disease and longevity.

But many times a negative perspective can be the result of what we consider our logic and sense. So how do we overcome negative thoughts and change them to positive ones? One suggestion from the Mayo Clinic: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.

For examples of how to put a postive spin on your negative thinking, check out Positive thinking: A skill for stress relief.

Thanksgiving is 10 days away. Have you composed your list of things you are thankful for? If you know what’s good for you, you will.

According to Lisa Lewis, PhD, director of psychology at The Menninger Clinic in Houston, experiencing gratitude for good things that happen in our lives is good for us.

“Gratitude allows you to take good things in,” says Lewis. Listing things for which you can give thanks builds positive feelings.

“Before you dig into the turkey and stuffing, you could all go around the room, and each person could say what they are grateful for,” Dr. Lewis says. “It doesn’t have to be something spectacular. You can be grateful that you can breathe. You can be grateful that you have food to put on the table. You can be grateful for the simple things, for everyday life. That is really the key.”

Read the article at The Menninger Clinic website.

We all know that eating right, getting enough sleep and taking exercise is good for our bodies and general health. But these may not be all you need for a healthy body. A key component is an active, stimulated and contented mind.

James Maddux, professor of psychology at George Mason University in Fairfax, VA, explains: “Physical and mental well-being are closely interwined”.

The key to well-being, says Maddux, is achieving balance in the emotional, spiritual and physical realms. Key elements in our lives can affect our mental well-being and therefore our physical well-being.

* Job satisfaction – what you do for a living doesn’t seem to be as important as how you view it. People who like what they do and feel that they are contributing have a high job satisfaction level whether they are janitors or doctors.

* Relationships – social interactions are beneficial and long-term intimate relationships such as marriage enhance emotional and physical well-being.

* Spiritual – Maddux states: “”All the research shows that, for the most part, people who are religious in the conventional way tend to be happier, more altruistic and physically healthier”.

* Exercise – Physical activity has been shown to be more effective than drugs at banishing depression.

Maddux stresses that finding the right balance may be different for everyone.

“What is a ‘balanced’ life for one person isn’t necessarily a balanced life for someone else,” Maddux stressed. “The key is not assuming that the way other people achieve happiness in life is the way you have to achieve it.”

A Sound Body, A Healthy Mind