I love reading carefully crafted words which touch me deep where I live? I recently had that joy from an unlikely source:  An email.  But being that the email, and the poem, came from “The Borzoi Reader,” Random House’s online literature publication, I guess it is somewhat understandable.  The poem is about being a woman and coming to middle age.

The name of the poem is “Boat,” and it is by Deborah Digges. I, of course, had to research her a bit and I have all of her books on my wishlist! This is the kind of poet that makes you want to go back to college and pick up another degree - this time in literature.

The poem “Boat,” explores the feelings of facing middle-age with young mothers surrounding, in lines such as,

“Once they looked back to show me myself at fifty, frightening to them, not yet recognizable…”

The last line was, to me, absolutely breaktaking and she observed her 50+ years by considering her, “brilliant, trivial unmooring.”

“Boats” A Poem by Deborah Digges

About Deborah Digges

More Poems from Deborah Digges

Baby Boomers control the world, and women 50something control Baby Boomers.  Interesting isn’t it?  We have power.  Serious power.  Judge Judy agrees that Baby Boomers are in driver’s seat, and they just have to understand how to tap into that power.

 ”Baby Boomers run the world. People who are 55 and over don’t buy a Chevy. Most of the guys driving the little black Porsches have gray hair or no hair.” Baby Boomers have the dough, she explained, but “they don’t know how to exercise this kind of power.” To help empower her generation, the judge is considering launching a “gossipy high end” magazine.
Judge Judy

Apparently Judge Judy is more interested in how Goldie Hawn feels about being a grandmother?  (Is that really possible?  Wasn’t Goldie the bikini-clad icon on Laugh-In in the 60’s?)  Judge Judy may have a point because our age group hold a disproportionate amount of the wealth in this country.  But does that mean we are financially prepared to retire?  We may have clout, but what are we going to do about it?

 Baby Boomers!  You’re Still Relevant - Claim Your Power

Fifty doesn’t look like it used to - at least that is the way it appears to me. True, she isn’t 50 yet. But I don’t think the next 12 to 18 months are going to change her all that much. And Sharon Stone’s remarks are worth reading. She has a unique view on aging and how she views herself.  And it isn’t what you might expect.

Although Stone received some heat for her “skin shots,” in her recent film, she caused more heat than most would expect for someone almost 50. Stone attributes her youthful look to exercise and her two children, both under three.

Supposedly Stone’s newest movie, “Basic Instinct II: Risk Addiction,” is steamier than the original. Time will tell. Viewers can check out the sequel on a DVD rental and judge what the new “almost 50″ looks like.

Sharon Stone Set London Afire

It all started innocently enough. It was a photograph, but of course we all know that photographs, not money, are the root of all evil. My daughter took a photograph of me and life as I knew it changed. Why? Because I realized I was Ursula.

“Those Poor Unfortunate Souls.”

For those not familiar with “The Little Mermaid,” Ursula is the evil anti-hero. She is a big and bitter woman filled with jealousy and the need for power. And she will walk, or swim, her way over anyone to get what she wants. She is part octupus, which adds to her somewhat dark character. Now I am nothing like that in character. But Disney animators have this unique ability to put expression in their characters. They nailed Ursula perfectly. The eight legs of course, but then a very ample body, with a very full figured curve (the upper arms waving in the currents are somewhat repulsive), and silver or white hair - spiked and fashionable. Excessive make-up. You get the picture. If you don’t, check out this out.

“Those Poor Unfortunate Souls”

So back to the photograph. My daughter took it at a time in my life that wasn’t going so well. My husband had passed away a couple of years previous, and I was still looking for him. I had this thought he was hiding in the bottom of a hot fudge sundae. It became my job to look for him there - at the bottom of every single hot fudge sundae I could find.

He wasn’t there. But I did find something else. A lot of flab that I just didn’t need. I didn’t realize it because not having a weight problem as a kid, my mind saw in the mirror what I thought I still was. But photographs, evil and vicious, don’t lie. To top it off, this particular photograph was taken when I was demonstrating extended depression brought on by grief.

So here I was. Lying on my sofa with my head propped up on one arm, eating chocolates or some other equally evil snack, silver hair spiked out all over the place and FLASH! The photograph was taken. It was only made worse by the fact I was wearing black.

I depise digital cameras. You get those results immediately. However, the upswing is that this roll of film never went anywhere to be developed so at least no one else saw it. But I saw it about 15 minutes after the image was processed through my own computer and brought to me at 1024 X 768 resolution on a 17 inch monitor.

“Oh My God!” I said. “I look just like Ursula.”

Of course, my daughter thought this was hilarious and still does. And I suppose in some ways it was. I did take advantage of the moment, and began belting out Ursula’s song that climaxes with, “Those poor unfortunate souls!” I am no singer; I freely admit it, but when I lose my inhibitions, and what the heck - after that picture I had no pride left to worry about anyway - I can really put those pipes to work and pump out a song with a bump, grind and twist.

Revenge is only fair play and at the oddest hours when my daughter least expected my arrival, I would appear behind a closed door singing this song with all of the evil venom I could muster. I would use it to threaten her. “You do this and that or…” and into the Ursula song I would launch. She would only laugh hysterically at me. I am afraid she saw the resemblance all too closely as well.

This photograph does however have a happy ending. I immediately joined a weight loss plan and stopped looking for my husband in the bottom of a sundae. I do take a peek every so often to be on the safe side, but it is controlled now and the majority of that extra weight is gone. I also realized, if you are a regular reader, that the silver hair had to go and I went back to my own red. (I don’t look like Ariel though and I think all of that is entirely unfair.)

Did I find that there is a part of Ursula in me? You bet. We all have a side of us we would prefer to not display - wavy upper arms and all. Would I threaten to pluck people from their happy lives to plant them in my shriveled garden of disappointed dreams and goals? Probably not. Ursula and I are bonded at the hip (scary thought considering the hips involved here) and she is a part of me. But instead of embracing her bitterness, I have found that she keeps me in line and reminds me of where I want to be and where I am going.

“Those Poor Unfortunate Souls!!!”

Ursula - Wikipedia

Adelle Tilton