New research shows that when it comes to being happy, it’s all about expectation, and if what we experience doesn’t meet our expectations, we are more likely to be unhappy than we are to be happy if what we experience exceeds expectations.

A study in the Journal of Consumer Research: March 2007 by Vanessa M. Patrick, Deborah J. MacInnis, and C. Whan Park entitled “Not as Happy as I Thought I’d be? Affective Misforecasting and Product Evaluations” indicates that the difference between the way we think we’ll feel and how we actually do feel is the key to being happy, whether it be in a product or a marriage.

Recently a survey proclaimed that Denmark was home to the happiest citizens on Earth. Why are they so happy? Because their expectations are low. The Danes tend to have lower and more realistic expectations about life and therefore find greater satisfaction.

In the consumer study, two groups watched a movie clip. One group was given rave reviews before seeing the movie and the other group heard disparaging reviews. Those who expected to see a great movie were very disappointed and unsatisfied. However, those who expected to see a boring movie did not notice the ways in which the movie was better than they expected.

What does this say about people? It seems to say that we are unappreciative of the good things we expect and even those we don’t expect and take them for granted. But when we have a high expectation, we are quick to be bitterly disappointed.

I don’t believe we should become pessimists, expecting always that things will turn out badly or feel we don’t deserve happiness, but the pressures we put on ourselves and others because of unrealistic expectations can only lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment. When we expect that this or that product or even that a relationship is going to be the key factor in our happiness, we are setting ourselves and others up for a big fall.

The study’s lesson for marketers is to be careful about how many and what type of promises they make for a product, for if the consumer doesn’t experience what you promised in your hype, the dissatisfaction level will be high. But the lesson for all of us may be to stop and take stock of the good things we don’t really notice in our lives.