In a brilliant stroke of fascism, Naveed Sattar, Professor of Metabolic Medicine at the University of Glasgow has suggested that larger size clothing ought to have obesity helpline numbers sewn into them. He even wants these warnings in children’s clothing!

Professor Sattar wants the government to intervene to stop fat people from being fat, on the premise that it costs too much money for healthcare for obese people.

No one would argue that being overweight can contribute to some health issues, but being singled out for punitive treatment because of weight could lead to much more serious mental health issues.

It used to be that in this politically correct society you had to show tolerance for everyone (except smokers, you can excoriate them all you like, it’s PC). Now it seems that fat people have been reduced to second-class citizenship and it’s righteous and good to be rude to them.

In other health news, a study being published in the British Medical Journal states that vegetarians have higher IQs than those who eat meat. The researchers say that the vegetarians were also more likely to have college degrees and high-powered jobs.

But is this cause or effect? Another point to consider is that “vegans” - vegetarians who also avoid dairy products - had lower IQ scores, proving that some animal protein must be good for you. There was no difference in IQ between vegetarians who shunned all meat and those who, although calling themselves vegetarian, still ate poultry and fish.

There were no plans to put labels in size 0 clothing encouraging the underweight wearer to visit a McDonald’s drive-thru soon, nor is anyone going to tell those intelligent people that if they eat fish and chicken they aren’t vegetarians at all.