Have you seen “Fried Green Tomatoes?”  I love that movie.  It is the story of several different women at different stages of their lives and in different periods of time.  The main focus of the primary story is the main character, a woman going through the change, as she redefines herself, becomes more assertive, and finds meaning within the life she is leaving.  Much of her struggle, pre-HRT treatment, comes from feeling old.  Kathy Bates plays this character to the hilt.  I love her.  She is so funny in this movie and says without uttering a word at times, an entire message to women who are 50-something.

Much of the point of the Kathy Bates character is coming to a peace, and not just a peace, but to a total joy with the idea of being menopausal, post-menopausal, or at least 50-something.  She fears her husband has lost interest in her, she worries that she has nothing left to contribute, and she struggles with her loss of self-image. 

Through the stories of another woman, who is more like 80-something (played magnificently by the late Jessica Tandy) she finds that what she has to offer is still fresh, alive, and although not young, a whole lot better than anything youth has ever offered. 

Do we need to be young to offer something to the world?  To our families?  To our friends?  And what is young anyway!  There is something about knowing your feet are solidly planted on the ground.  About having security and knowing what your life is all about.  There is something about not being 30-something and still trying to figure out who you are.

My favorite quote from the movie?  It occurs in the scene where Evelyn (Kathy Bates) is becoming a whole lot more sure of herself and how she plays into the world around her.  She is faced with a couple of slim-hipped, hot looking, smart mouthing 20-somethings in a minor dispute over a parking place.  They zip in around her land yacht and steal the place away with their little snazzy VW bug.

Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster!
Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times (deliberately and quite forcefully, I might add)
Girl #1 (Screaming frantically): What are you *doing*?
Girl #2(Screaming equally forcefully and frantically): Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.

When someone tries to make you feel like you are substandard or have nothing to contribute; or when they try to convince you that you aren’t in the running anymore and too old to play the game, remember you can afford to lose.  You’ve paid your dues.  You bought your coverage.  “Face it girls.  I’m older and have more insurance.”