Some people have far too much free time on their hands.  Researchers have discovered that female guppies (you know - the fish?) will do just about anything they can to avoid sexual attention (when they don’t want it) from interested male guppies. 

Now these male guppies will go out of their way to get a lady’s attention.  They have all the bright colors and they flash their fins - in short, they act no different than human males.  But a female guppy views that much the way a human female views it.  “Shove off Buster,” and the battle begins.  For us, it ends up in a court room with charges of sexual harrassment.  For the guppies, they retreat to waters infested with predators. 

Evidently it is better to be eaten alive than deal with a man. Darren Croft, of the University of Wales, (by the way, he isn’t just a guy with free time - he is being paid for this!) said, “Male guppies spend most of their time displaying to females. But if their courtship displays don’t impress the females, males will attempt to sneak mating with them when they aren’t looking.”  Now that is low.  Really, really low.

Have these gals considered getting a bodyguard?  I mean if they are hiding in the rough neighborhoods of the ocean, aren’t they making at least some contact with unsavory characters?  Perhaps a lobster or a bigger fish that eats guppies would make a suitable “watchdog.”  She would have to pay him well or he might turn on her, and that could end up back at the sexual harrassment problem.  Possibly an inadequate solution.

Perhaps an option would be to turn tail and appear to run, and slap that male guppy silly with a tail fin.  If a few of those girls could get together and join forces, they could really pummel one of those guys.  They are so arrogant about their fins and tails, that I’m betting they would run at the first sign of cosmetic destruction. 

Another idea would be to let the word out that once the baby guppies hatch, the female guppies (now unionized) are going back to work.  Flashy dad can stay home and take care of the several thousand children.  Let’s see how much he likes it then!  Ramifications!  It is all about accountability.  If these guppies knew that they would be tied down for however long guppies are tied down for, and no flashy tails allowed today sir, they might mind their manners.

It just might be worth a try.

Female Guppies Risk Their Lives to Avoid Too Much Male Attention

(Yes I know the fish in the photograph are not guppies, but it’s a better picture than the guppy one!)

Adelle Tilton